F 
Function Health
Annual membership for a hundred-plus lab tests with clinician review and tracked results over time.
NOT REALLY
why this verdict
Keep paying — OpenAI has not replaced it
OpenAI's version overlaps, but does not finish the health job, so this one still earns its $30/mo.
- A named launch, not a vibe named, unlinked
- Assistants interpreting uploaded lab PDFs and explaining every marker for free. OpenAI, May 27, 2025 — no announcement link recorded yet.
- How much of the job it covers not the job editorial call
- Parts of it. The job still needs the tool to get finished.
- Is there a free way to do it? paid only
- 3 replacements listed, all paid.
- What the call is worth $360/yr
- $30/mo at the entry paid tier — $360 a year per seat.
Reason composed from the fields above missing: announcement linked missing: free replacement listed recorded: two or more escape hatches
- Threatened by
- OpenAI
- Since
- May 27, 2025
- List price
- $30/mo
- Per year
- $360
The backstory
Function Health orders a wide panel of blood tests twice a year, has clinicians review the results and presents them as tracked markers with an action plan. Chat assistants will happily explain a lab report you upload, which removes the interpretation-only business. Function survives because the product is the phlebotomy, the lab contracts and the licensed review, none of which a model can perform. The data has to exist before anyone can explain it.